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the truth about telephone support ….

auch wenn es jetzt fies klingt, das telefon klingelt manchmal den lieben langen tag und man wird mit fragen bombardiert , bei denen man sich freut, das es den “Hold”-button am telefon gibt. habe eben gerade im netz was gefunden, was das beschreibt …..

  • As long as the world turns, users will still have problems
  • Substance abusers and computer operators are the only folks called users. This isn’t by chance
  • When in doubt. Reboot
  • Sooner or later you will meet a person who types out the words “backslash” or forgets to plug in the power cord. If you haven’t yet, just wait, you will
  • Fear the phone. No one just calls tech support to wish you good morning
  • No user will tell you the whole truth at the beginning of a call
  • “I didn’t do anything” or “It just happened” Are the users mantra
  • As a support tech, it is your job to break down resistance and get the truth
  • This is so you can rub the lie in their face, fixing the issue is just a perk
  • Some people will never learn
  • This means you will always have a job
  • Maintain a calm voice, even if you’re screaming on the inside
  • The hold button is your friend
  • Whatever you do, don’t panic
  • The answer to all users questions should be “Trust me, I know what I’m doing” even if this is a bald-faced lie
  • Users can smell fear. Once you’ve lost control, all is lost
  • A user who is not listening to you anymore, but rather is trying “their own thing” is not worth your time. Simulate a telephone disconnect and hang up. Trust me, you’re better off.
  • Sometimes fixing a computer is easier than figuring out why it was broken
  • Users always want a reason things are fixed. If you’re not sure just lie. They won’t know anyway. “A stray electron passed through the processor and caused…”
  • If possible ask to speak to the youngest person present
  • Leider gibt die deutsch Spache sowas nicht so richtig wieder, aber als ergänzung zu obigen meinte jemand, er würde der Anrufern nach einer Weile mitteilen , es wäre ein “I-D-10-T” Error, der sein system zerschossen hätte …

    Andererseits möchte ich hiermit offiziell Bill Gates und Steve Ballmer danken, ohne sie wäre es manchmal fast Langweilig.

    (das ist übrigens ironisch gemeint!)

    1 Kommentare

    1. smarti says:

      *lol* das triffts wohl voll ich glaube diesen I-D-10-T-Fehler nehme ich mal in meinen Sprachgebrauch auf :) sehr gut *lach*

      6. Januar 2008 @ 20:19


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